Friendship... growing apart

Friends are an integral part of almost everyone’s life. They make life easier, add fun and spice to mundane activities. At every stage we have various set of friends. Right from your langotiyaar (childhood friends), school friends, college friends, pals in your locality, from your hobby classes… oh that adds up to too many friends. So now you can imagine how much exciting life turns because of all these umpteen friends.

But from all these friends, your childhood/school friends hold a closer and special place in your heart. You can simply be yourself. Act random, talk senseless, yet they will appreciate you. The warmth and the affection you share will be extremely special. If you have such friends you are truly blessed.

But at the same time, these childhood friends and even the friendship (with few) starts growing apart. Why? It’s a very tough and heart breaking process but it’s the reality of life. Not because you had fight and take separate routes, but simply you don’t even realise and things have changed. The one you thought knows in and out, turns to be quite different. The sync you had with them starts fading away. From your childhood, way through your adolescent till you legally and for the world turn as an ‘Adult’ :-P, you had decently different journeys. Though you started from almost the same point but now both of you have landed at different places. Some have learnt and grown in the journey, but few failed to get better. And now your conversations get tangent. The fun seems to be vanished. You feel lost and at times it gets suffocating as well.

So, should you continue with the friendship? Too many perspectives to this. But what I feel is… you can work on your rapport but not with someone else’s approach towards life and with others. Don’t suffocate yourself, come out for a while and feel the fresh air. Take new routes, enjoy different experiences and may be in future your paths might collide again. If it works out, a big thumps up if it doesn’t just think of the happier times and cherish the wonderful smile on your face. :)

25 lessons in 25 years

Can’t believe at all that have survived for one-fourth of a century on this planet. From today stepping into a new year,new phase of my life. More experiences, different situations, some wonderful people from the past and few new ones will make this ride even more exciting in future as well.

Today I wish to share 25 lessons that I learnt in all these 25 years of my life. Oops!!! Now you know my age. Now lets start with it...

1.    Believe in yourself
Biggest lesson learnt. You have no choice, you have to believe in You.

2.    Dreams do come true
Sooner or later they do. Tum jiskisi cheez ko dil se chahate ho, puri ki puri kayanat sachme use tumse milane ki saajish main lag jaati hai. So never loose hope. Just take little efforts in right direction and there you are.

3.    Theres more than enough goodness around
Its Kalyug and theres too much negativity, Ok!!! But there is way more positivty, just look for it J

4.    Self company is the best company
Shopping, travelling and almost everything turns more exciting if you have company of the best person i.e. You. Yeeee… I love myself :-P :-D and my company as well ;-)

5.    Don’t be too available for others

You are easily taken for granted. Yes, very important lesson learnt. That is why started being too available for myself and found out lesson no. 4 :-D

6.    Conquer your fears
It is very important to face your fears. And if you can manage to do this then nothing can stop you from owning the world. Dar ke aage jeet hai ;-)

7.    You have more potential than you think
Lot of things I thought are not my cuppa tea, in the process realised that I can do it… Yes, I  can and I will (Proud! Proud!)

8.    Explore everything- and you will explore a lot about yourself

Almost similar like lesson no. 6. Walk on various paths, try out different routes… you will find a better world and a better You.

9.    Challenges in life are meant to ultimately bring out the best in you J
I was extremely scared of failures before. But now want to thank all those obstacles. Thank you for polishing me and making me a stronger person.

10.  Not all good friends and relationships stay with you forever
I love people and want to hold them tight. Gradually have realised its more important to cherish those golden moments than trying hard to continue that friendship.

11.   Trust your Intiution

Never doubt it. Later you realise, what your intiution suggested was always right.

12.  Never loose yourself in the process of loving your dear ones

You are very special and you cant risk of loosing such a lovely person. If you continue to do that, ultimately you might also end up loosing your dear ones. Too much of loosing ha… not done.

13.  Spend more time in thinking about your plus points

And everything turns beautiful. Putting your energy and time in reciting about others flaws will do you no good. Rather praise yourself over and over again… ofcourse mentally :-P

14.  You are the designer of your destiny

God, your parents, your neighbours, friends no… no one else gives or takes away anything from you. If you want… you have to make it happen. Nothing can stop it.

15.  Change is constant and beautiful as well…

Only thing constant in life is change. It is certainly very beautiful and refreshing. So, welcome it with open arms.

16.   Fill yourself with love to spread it around the world
Fill so much love in you that it should overflow and automatically reach others. In short follow the mantra, “Main apni favourite hoon” B-) J

17.   Everything comes to you at right time
Give time some time. Relax, take a deep breath and your wish will come true at the right time. Till then enjoy the journey.

18.   Resistance is persistent
Whatever you resist, persists. Go with the flow or you might end up complicating things.

19.   You can achieve anything in this world… absoultely Anything
Have a strong willpower? Even the sun will start revolving around you. Want to get rich, successful, famous, prettier anything… you wish for it strongly, set that wish free and very soon you will be blessed with it.

20.   Either be a winner or looser
As both have gained a lot in their respective sojourns. People who belong to the third category are toxic :-P... stay away from them :-D ;-)

21.   Risk it
Because playing safe is too mainstream. Either take huge risks or tiny ones… but you better take risks in life. Its too exciting…

22.   Be comfortable in your own skin
Then you will be showered upon by comfort and warmth from others. Doubt a little and the world will laugh at your expense. Be proud of who and what you are :-D

23.  Never criticise yourself
The way you should never blow your own trimpunt you should neither critise yourself.  

24.  Its more important to be back…with a bang
All scattered, broken or lost doesn’t matter. It has and rather should happen once in a while. But its more important to pick up those broken pieces and form a better and stronger image from it J

25.  Happy is Ending
Everything falls into place in the end. Live, laugh, jump, fall for the moment and enjoy the wonderful roller-coaster called ‘Life’.  


- 3/12/2014

Kashmir- A dream come true

“Mumbai ka fashion aur Kashmir ka mausam kabhi bhi badal sakta hai”- Kashmiri jargon

From the time I remember, visiting Kashmir always topped my list. Had dreamt and planned the trip so many times. And finally last year i.e. in November 2013, I visited my favourite destination in India with my family.

People rarely plan a trip to Kashmir in winter season, but we did. And I already knew that the journey is going to be exciting. Even before reaching the destination the Pilot announced to have a look on the left side. I did it and could see rows of snow clad mountains, and I realised that I am going to visit a place rightly known as ‘Heaven on earth’.

By the time we reached, it was lunch time so the first thing we did was feasting on the lavish ‘Wazwan’- it’s a traditional Kashmiri wedding thali.  It’s more than a year but I still crave for it. After that we headed towards our houseboat at Dal lake. Our house boat was named xyz Palace (I do not remember the exact name), and the experience was indeed royal.  Visiting floating market or the vendors making a trip to our houseboat after sunset, it was sheer fun.

Then we moved to Pahalgam, one more town with snow filled mountains but what fascinated me most is the Kalahoil Glacier. The mountains on the east were completely clean with no snow while on the other side were completely covered by snow. We reached the Glacier via cable cars and on the way saw houses built by the nomads. I was experiencing almost all the things which I had only read or heard off. Dreams surely do come true.

 

Gulmarg was no different. Gulmarg means path of roses, being winter season I saw not even a single rose over there. Sigh! One of my motives of going to Kashmir was to be around roses. But in exchange what I saw were horses, monkeys and some beautiful and unknown birds.

Now, it was time to thank lord for this so we went to Katra. Earlier we were informed that our helicopter tickets are confirmed, but then we get to know they aren’t. Till last minute we tried to get the tickets but guess Mata Vaishnodevi wanted us to take little efforts to reach her. For six hours we walked on and on taking many small breaks in between. And believe me all the hardwork paid off. While coming back we decided to hire horses. They brought us back to Katra in exactly two hours and I was dumbstruck. How can their masters walk so fast? But guess that’s their job. Funny thing about this place is that all the joints, restaurants are named Vaishno ka Dhaba. (Ok, not all but most of them.) It is supposed to be a town which strictly serves vegetarian food and no alcohol. The only thing which disappointed me was Kashmir being such a sensitive area, the checking by the military was too loose.

After Kashmir we visited Amritsar, but right now I just want to focus on Kashmir. Few more things to know about this wonderful location-

If you are planning to visit a trip to Kashmir you have to have a good budget. The locals have planned a good way to provide employment to each other indirectly creating a hole in your pocket. And if you are planning during summers, you will have to shell out four times more than what we did during our winter visit.

Shopping- Though we visited in the winter season, we all were in pink of health. Do carry some warm clothes with you, and after visiting you can buy more. You get good variety and after bargaining well you can get the sweaters and jackets at reasonable prices. One cannot miss on buying Kashmiri dress materials and sarees. While on Shikara too many vendors will come to sell their stuff, you can buy some accessories from them. To buy saffron and dry fruits visit a good shop, or even the farmers who grow saffron own their shops. The quality of the dry fruits and saffron is pretty good and the prices are also comparatively pocket-friendly.

For cricket lovers and kids, one can buy willow bats which are manufactured here at a larger scale.

Food – The first thing we did after visiting this location was to hog on Wazwan. So, just by mentioning this you must have visualised how appetising the food is. Even when it comes to food, this place is a heaven. If you are a non-vegetarian, then your taste buds are surely going get a great treat. Do try Wazwan, one is enough for four to five people. It’s a completely non-vegetarian dish. I had it at Mughal Durbar, near airport.  Do not risk to miss this. For vegetarians, try Kashmiri Dum Aloo. On the way while travelling you can buy some fresh fruits like apple and peach.

One common thing I observed is, the food was indeed good at taste, pretty reasonable and even the portions were quite big.

Accommodation - We stayed at the best hotels in Kashmir. And I feel we made a good decision. It was winter season; the temperature at night use to drop to one digit or even to zero degree Celsius and the hotels provided us with the best service possible.

Though I visited a cold location, the locals were extremely warm and the surrounding was truly beautiful. I plan to visit this heaven once again; maybe next time will make a visit during summer.

Till then, Happy Journey J 

And now I wish to explore...

While scanning a travel book I read a beautiful quote worth sharing, ‘We do not take trips, trips take us...’ And as you must have guessed I am going to spill few things about travelling.

I love travelling, who doesn’t? We all do. But just while talking to a friend about our professional journey, I once again realised how my perspective of travel has changed. I have been thinking about this from a really long time and today thought of officially sharing it.

For many, travelling is going to the best travel agent and getting an excellent package of an exotic location. Lot of people like to travel in luxurious modes of transports and scanning the tourist spot by travelling in an AC car. Eating food at fine dining restaurants and visiting spots which are planned by their agent, and at the end they happily return to their respective burrows.

Just like everyone even I have done this. But I have deeply realised that more than an AC car I prefer to travel by the city’s local mode of transport and sense the new place. Eating at a Five star restaurant is fine once in a while, but to know the actual flavour of the city I am more than willing to explore the dhabbas and street joints of that particular place. I can’t say I have been to a place by just visiting the tourist spots over there. Rather than spending my time in this, I would prefer to ‘feel the city’.

I can say I have explored a city if I visit at least one house and family of that exciting place and know what exactly their lifestyle is. I would prefer visiting a local school and meet those tiny ones with sparkling eyes and enjoy the beauty of that place. Attending a traditional wedding or any festival will be more happening than visiting a national park where I see are just few wild goats.  

How many are actually lucky enough to do this? I guess most of us have seen these events in a travel show, or in a movie. But when it comes to reality we prefer making our trips luxurious and safe. No, am not against enjoying our trips lavishly, even I prefer it that way. But many a times we fail to add a pinch of adventure and real fun to our trips. Hope next time I plan my vacation, I don’t want to just visit it, but I would like to explore it. And I hope... this happens very soon.

P.S- I have developed this new perspective thanks to my profession. Though super hectic, being a Journalist is sheer fun. And in a way it has liberated me. 

Touch of innocence in local trains

Travelling in a local train is no child’s play. It’s more of a war, for most of them. Too many strangers, fights, abuses but there is an equally beautiful side to this journey. You make friends, you laugh, some strangers acts like Angels and at times someone rubs of their positive energies. Similarly I encountered a very heart touching moment today J :-*

When it comes to travelling am a pakka Mumbaikar, I just love local trains. I completely enjoy the hustle-bustle, the chaos while commuting but at the same time I am very clear, I can’t travel aggressively. In the last few months I have been privileged to travel smoothly in the locals making my journey easy but relatively dull. But from past few days my experience is completely different.

From last one week I am boarding few overly crowded trains where at the end of the journey I feel extremely exhausted. Just like previous Saturday, even today after my lectures got over I boarded a train which was jam packed. Before getting in I was little hesitant yet I gathered the courage to get in, as I thought even the other trains will be equally filled. Somehow I pushed myself little inside and still wasn’t too happy with my decision of boarding this particular train. Too many women and girls were struggling to get in and out of the so called life-line of Mumbai. Some were screaming, few were cribbing and few others were helpful and exchanged warm smiles and words.

I was settling down little bit and had reached almost half way and I saw a young girl, must be hardly 18-19, with tears rolling down her cheeks. I got a little worried... I thought either she is sick or by mistake got hit by someone in the train. She came exactly next to me so asked her, “Hey what’s wrong?” very naively she replied, “It’s so crowded. I am too scared. Which side is Mulund?” She continued sobbing (:-D) And I went... Awwww. She is sooo cute and innocent.

I tried to guide her, helped her and in my own way did my level best to console her. There was one more young girl who was about to get down at same station. Even she was equally sweet and was more than willing to help this poor fellow. By this time even the cute girl had mellowed down and was little relaxed. Few minutes passed by, she went little ahead. Now I was unable to see her. Just before her destination arrived, I thought of having a look of her. And between the crowd of all those heads, hairs and bags I managed to see her. Luckily at the same time even she looked at me (sorry, this may sound little filmy and romantic, but it’s not like that) and gave me a pleasant smile and said, “Thank you”. We kind of bid good bye to each other and she got down. I didn’t see her getting off but I hope she reached her home safely.

After sometime, this entire situation flashed in front of my eyes and this time I had tears in my eyes. No I was not sad, rather was touched by the innocence and delicacy of the pretty young girl. Somewhere I was able to see a part of me in her. But am so proud of myself, I never cried because the trains were over crowded. (I deserve a pat on my back :-P :-D). But this vulnerable girl did, and I liked her for the same reason.

I am so very happy to meet such a pure and sweet soul. Got rubbed off by her purity and innocence. Muuaaaah sweetie pie... hope you stay like this always. God bless you sweetheart J

P.S- Had posted this on 9th August, 2014. Due to few errors posting it again :)

Experiencing Silver Jubilee of my life

Yes... I am 25, but at heart I am still a teenager. I still cannot digest the fact that am a grown up girl now. But at the same time there are too many things, numerous aspects of life which are more difficult to come to terms with.

Had an awesome childhood, even teenage was equally smooth but had an extreme self esteem issue in that phase. And the minute I stepped out of college my encounters with so-called failures began. ‘So-called failures’ as for that duration I thought of them as setbacks, but now when I look back I am grateful of all those obstacles. They were more of stepping stones.  Thanks to them I am what I am today.

Have surpassed lot of limitations and I no more enjoy my comfort zone. Though am taking baby steps, yet I know I am moving steadily from comfort zone to effort zone.

But at times I feel growth brings along lot of pain. I do feel satisfied in many ways, but personally I feel void. I am no more a girl for whom her friends meant ‘LIFE’. Now, they are just a part of my life. I am the most darpok and emotional person I have ever met in my life. But now when I meet people (who were extremely important to me at one point) I feel a little detached, and this scares me even more. Once a colleague said, “Roshani, relax everyone goes through this phase. You will get to know who your true friends are.” And I am still trying to figure out...

And at the same time some beautiful people and few amazing incidents made me fall in love with myself, even more. Met some really awesome people who encouraged me to grow... sometimes through appreciation, at times through words of wisdom and many a times by just being there by my side, they have contributed to my growth, my betterment. Thanks a ton to those dear friends. And tons of thanks to my family for always being there for me.

Ohk ... I don’t want to repeat but yes I am 25 and at this age and phase of life am very contented and equally confused. At times I thank God for each and everything, while there are times when I feel totally lost. I consider myself as a looser. But, nothing is going to stop me now. I very well know that this is an indication to notify me to ‘grow’. Yes... I can and I will J